We are all more or less clear on foundations when it comes to intentional relationships. Apart from passion and flowers… we have to have basic mutual respect, aligned values, basic compatibility, common vision for the future and willingness to communicate constructively. However, speaking of communication, rarely do we pay attention to more obscure prerequisites – that is how to make sure that we are actually ready to listen (and hear) each other so we can get to building and strengthening that foundation…. One important part (obvious, but easily overlooked) is to pay attention to not only what we say but how we say it. The ‘how’ can make a great opening for a fresh and constructive dialogue or stop it in the very beginning.
On a very (very) simple level, what we say is processed by the other person in the left (‘logical’) hemisphere of the brain and how we say it is processed by the right (’emotional’) hemisphere. When we are overall healthy, happy and positive, we can hear what is being said. However, when we are unwell, tired or otherwise vulnerable, we automatically switch to register the how. Prosody (pitch, tempo etc) is a term to describe the ‘how’. The right prosody can make a big difference even in ‘easy’ communications – it will just enhance the flow. But in a communication when one person – or both – are in an emotionally vulnerable state, situational or long term, the right prosody will make a difference between a lovely stimulating discussion and not having a conversation at all.
Apart from becoming aware of and actively engaging our different communication styles, listening to how we say what we say is a fun exercise 🙂 we might just discover something completely unexpected about ourselves – after all, we know what we wanted to say – what the other person hears may be a totally different story. Simple, but makes an enormous difference to any communication in a s relationship – this is basic ‘feeding’ the relationship. Try speaking differently from what you normally do when you have a chance – and observe the process.
Becoming consciously aware of our prosody is a great first step; we can then make a decision to adjust if we feel this can be a problem. To do a bit deeper into discovery of Yin and Yang in our Being and our life, you may want to start intentionally working with these energies. We had many questions on our Colourpuncture Q&A calls on basic Qi balancing and described the options: please refer to ‘Live by the Sun, Love by the Moon’, ‘Self-care: Polarity and Elements’ for details. A simple work with Gold (Yang) and Silver (Yin) crystals on well-known Acupuncture points or Dream Zones for intentional dreaming is a great start on intentional management of our own energies – to create better health, deeper self awareness and warmer relationships.
This video is a fragment of our August 2021 Cafe Self Q&A, please watch this entire playlist (more videos coming soon) for more details. Any questions, I’m here and happy to help, please reach out using the form below.
If you feel ready for some serious Soul food, come join us at the Cafe Self, the place where you come to feed your Soul 🙂
Related reading:
- Relationships: Energy Signature
- Communication Styles
- Getting out of Life’s ‘Tornado’
- Entering a ‘Tornado’
- Completing a Life’s Chapter
- ‘Two Min a Day for Happiness’
- “Life is a Play”
- Goodbye to a Love Story
- ‘Thank You’ Party
