“Would you find 2 min a Day to create a Happy Relationship?” – this was an opening question to a really great book I was lucky to read some 25 years ago…
I described the essence of this book briefly in this video as a part of an answer to a question on how to invite your partner to a conscious relating and so to create Intentional Relationships on our August 2021 Cafe Self free monthly Q&A call.
The book by (or adapted from the work of) Dr Daniel Amen, a well known US brain scan specialist was about creating intentional relationships on an example of a marriage relationship and was highly interactive and highly unusual for the time.
The book was called ‘2 Min a Day for Happiness’ and was a translation from English (alas I can’t find the original yet so it might have been an adaptation – I’m still looking and will keep you posted if I find the original). It’s an absolute must read – and it’s about a lot more than relationships. It’s about our ultimate Body Mind health and Intentional and Authentic Life. Any book/presentation by Dr Amen would be a great read.
A relationship recipe
The relationships recipe itself is very simple – and not so surprising at present as Personal Development not just grew but totally transformed during recent decades.
- You make a list ‘What is important to me in a Relationship’.
- Your partner makes the same list.
- You compare.
- You look for a common ground and solutions to every wish of each other bridging your differences to create an ultimate Win Win – a solution which is better than either of yours separately.
- This solution – which you then are going to practice – will enrich each other’s life and will build a togetherness in a relationship.
- And then comes 2 min – you put everything you came up with in a single document, make 2 copies and each of you reads this ‘Mission Statement’ for 2 min a day as a reminder that we are transforming default patterns of our behaviour on our way to creating intentional and happy relationship, together.
Now, my description – though actionable – describes the book in about the same way that you could say that the Bible is ‘a great book about religion’. I would encourage you to really start following Dr Amen as his Clinic publishes plenty of information on how our brain health affects our life on all possible planes. Any book by Dr Amen is highly recommended – you will get a flavour of his work.
An invitation to conscious living and intentional relating
As I mentioned this kind of work is now more or less a mainstream in any work of a life coach or a therapist who adds personal development exercises to their patients’ homework 🙂
This is a kind of work – alongside Dreamwork, Acupressure, Colourpuncture, Journalling and more – we do in our Cafe Self on a regular basis and when I’m saying ‘…and now we are making a list of 20 things which…’ nobody is really surprised… It organises your thoughts, it clarifies your default patterns – of thinking, feeling, reacting, behaving – which we usually are not aware of until we actually sit down to do the exercise. Sounds very simple. You feel you know everything there is to know already. And….just try it. You will be surprised. It’s a little frustrating that with all this kind of work now readily available we still don’t respect ourselves enough to create some regular time to ask our Self and Soul important life questions.
When you do this kind of work, you stop acting on an autopilot and start paying attention to yourself and take your little everyday choices seriously.
This kind of work is true for any relationships and I found it very much useful for families when there are disagreements between generations…it really brings the family together just as it would a couple of grown ups who chose each other as life companions.
If you have any questions around Intentional Relationships, Dreamwork, Colourpuncture and Acupressure for the Soul, Journalling or Soul feeding of any kind join us for our final for 2021 Cafe Self Q&A call on the 10th of December (register by using the form below). I’d be delighted for you to join our Q&A and discussion group!
Happy relating!
