What do we bring into our relationship? Sure, there are flowers and passion; and then intention and care; and then there is an ongoing journey of getting to know each other (and discovering our own interesting personal traits in the process) – journey which is unique for every couple.
What else do we bring into our relationship, consciously or not?
A simple yet powerful step towards a conscious, constructive communication in intentional relationships is actively engaging each other’s communication style.
Perception Filters
Less obvious but every bit as important as all of the above are the Filters – ‘perceptual filters’ – our invisible perception ‘mesh’ which we unconsciously apply looking at, talking to and listening to our partner; the outlines of these filters can be glimpsed every time when something triggers our core beliefs and a general worldview.
Our perception filters – what they are and how they are formed – is a complex neuroplasticity topic. For a simple start, we need to be aware that they exist and start observing – our partner and ourselves – in a conversation, an interaction. A point where something goes ‘wrong’ (or just before this point) is an important point to see our in-built reactions – and so the outlines of our perception filters – so we can intentionally work with them. With just a keen observation we can see at the very least how both parties react in general (for example, purely ‘feeling’ reaction vs verbally expressed, which gives us a clue for example, to the age of childhood) and detect an emotional flavour of our reaction – fear; sadness; anger. Then we can address these with Colourpuncture for example (choosing points on the ‘Childhood ages’ Line in Rose and Element-specific treatments – Parts 6 and Part 5 of Professional training).
On October 2022 Cafe Self Q&A we focused on a situation in an early stage relationship when one person has difficulty ‘opening up’ for deep communication and another has an issue of trust; both parties had negative past experience.
Flu example in the video: this is what often happens but it doesn’t have to if we manage even a severe case, correctly.
How do we discover our filters?
One of powers of Colourpuncture us that it may give spontaneous answers to our perception filters questions – Colourpuncture is an ongoing exciting journey of Self discovery; Conflict Resolution Colourpuncture directly focuses on various aspects of our life.
All relationships questions are great focus when you work with Polarity or Yin and Yang crystals; Sun and Moon, male and female principles, they seem to be made for that.
Dreamwork for intentional or targeted dreaming with various Relationship Zone combinations with a correct focusing question may bring some vague insights on our patterns or filters, to light.
Dream analysis can help to shape all our insights and translate them into action with Journaling Prompts.
Journalling as a main tool to bring full clarity is the next step; but especially in very vague situations, Journalling prompts in Dreamwork is a good start.
This video is a fragment of our Cafe Self Q&A – thank you for your great questions! For any details and support, please reach out using the form below, I’m happy to help.
If you feel ready for some serious Soul food, come join us at the Cafe Self, the place where you come to feed your Soul 🙂
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