How do we ‘hold space’ for important people in our life – for them to relax, connect and talk to us about things important to them, and things important to us? In any type of relationships – and at any stages – open, honest and constructive communication is the key. Intentional relationships call for two sided efforts, but how do we do our part – how do we invite the other person to a dialogue – how do they know that the door is open and the light in on?
Different stages of a relationship will have differently coloured undertones; but a genuine interest in the other person, respect and unconditional love can be practiced even during the most difficult conversation. Even in a situation of a separation or a deep crisis, real or perceived, we can thrive to create and hold a space for a constructive exchange of expressions of real thought, feelings and suggestions. Very often, apart from adopting a non judgemental attitude, interest and respect we simply need to create space – and time. Soul needs time to connect. How often are we ‘together’ – in our mind, body, and soul and can give our full attention to the other person, simply focusing on listening? How often are we in fact ‘together’ for ourselves?
Creating inviting space allowing enough time seems so simple and obvious but how often do we practice it?
Holding an inviting space with all the advanced communication skills doesn’t automatically guarantee a relationship success – after all, we can only do our part; the other person may, may not choose to or be able to accept our invitation. The relationship itself can be beyond repair. But without our own genuine step of extending ourself to the other person, nothing else will have a chance to develop.
Relationships with family members and especially with our children differ from our romantic relationships and friendships; we have a direct responsibility and so even during most challenges times and conversations we will thrive to keep the light on and the door open…and in these difficult times we will need to support both ourselves and them through their struggles with our practical love and constructive intentions.
With most of our relationships though our part is to create and hold the space; give them time; give them a chance to take an initiative for further development of the dialogue – and let go of the outcome. The deeper the conflict, repairable or not, the more we need to just be present; to listen; to hear; and to let go of any agendas.
Very often we are genuinely busy and so underestimate the power of this ‘space’, both in sufficient time and in inviting physical setting. And yet once created, the ‘space’ itself can become a ‘container’ to hold our conversation, our relationship and the dialogue will have the best possible chance to develop into its most natural next step.
This video is a fragment of our August 2021 Cafe Self Q&A, please watch this entire playlist for more details. Any questions, I’m here and happy to help, please reach out using the form below.
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