Some time ago I came to believe that we need to respect Our Selves a little more…As soon as I started seeing myself not as if I’m operating from myself, by myself but as a part of a bigger system/systems I belong to, my view of my own Soul needs changed.

I was brought up in a culture/family/community where ‘we put others/profession/our responsibilities/some external power, first’ was a default (and noble) belief. My perspective shift on ‘meeting our needs’ probably happened – spontaneously, gradually and firmly – after experiencing that famous ‘The Death of the Ego’ Colourpuncture therapy…Considering my background the change itself hasn’t been an easy ride but as soon as I really took int this different perspective I can’t help but look at my – and other people’s needs – with different eyes.


Meeting Our Needs is in alignment with a bigger system/s we belong to

We often automatically focus on ‘Expectations vs Reality’ and so we focus on the gap in between them. As soon as we re-focus on clarifying our Soul needs by analysing our expectation, the whole picture becomes different. It’s not about ‘Reality’. It’s about the original Soul need, which once named and respected, can be creatively met by a multitude of means.

A significance of a fascinating journey from dependence and independence to interdependence is often overlooked and poorly defined – and this is where a calm and objective look into our expectations all the way to our deepest needs can be just a key we have been looking for.

Looking at the Needs of a bigger system we belong to…by examining our need to be one of the best in our chosen field for example (which can be looked at from at least two very different perspectives…depending if we value ambition or comfort more…) may just mean we are unconsciously trying to raise the bar for the entire industry to serve their customers better?? Same goes for the family system…and every other system we belong to.

Here is the video transcript:

“We need to respect our Soul needs… This sounds sort of ‘selfish’ or counterintuitive and ‘yes maybe it is better to avoid expectations’ so so on but if you think about it, we only can think so if we imagine that we operate in total isolation: so it’s just you. Just you and you. And there’s absolutely nothing and no one around you. But if we look at ourselves from a different perspective like you’re a part of some sort of a system; you’re a part of something bigger; you’re a part of humanity. Your Soul carries certain programming, certain sort of ‘Individual Program’ information for this incarnation if you wish, for this lifetime quite simply. And all your wishes and desires and so expectations, they are closely tied in with your Soul mission and if you have this desire that in some way you can reasonably expect that ‘the Universe’ wants the same thing! The Universe wants you to manifest something through you and so you can give it to bigger whole, you can become a better element of whatever system you are in. So for example if you have a certain problem and then you resolve this problem instead of avoiding this problem saying “No, no! I’m not going to have this problem” and avoiding it you can actually resolve this problem, you can meet this problem head-on and then you can help other people. In your case you can help other people because you’re a therapist and you can guide other people through something that you went through. And you already learned this lesson you know how to do it and people who you serve they have no idea – for them it will be a totally available piece of information. So I do feel we need to pay attention to our Soul needs no matter how silly they are because (silly) it’s just a label. It’s not you know that very difficult. As soon as we start going into judging ourselves “Okay, this was an unreasonable expectation” or you know “This was an absolutely stupid action that I did” we miss the point. We miss the point that we are not just isolated this little isolated body we are a part of a bigger something. And so as soon as you start looking at yourself this way – which obviously involves also looking at yourself as if from the distance, so we can we can practice this ‘witnessing’ technique – then our perception changes and then you start respecting yourself; looking into yourself. And I think what you said comes from a little sort of underlying fear that your expectations are not going to be fulfilled… this is what you feel because they didn’t get fulfilled in the past so you say “Okay, I better not have this expectation just because it didn’t happen in the past”. But the past does not guarantee the future; it’s how we reframe the past, how we learn from the past, and how we change what happened in the past in our ‘today’ which will determine the future; not the past necessarily directly itself. So if something didn’t happen before, it does not mean it will not happen tomorrow. We just need to be conscious and work on it. So, no, respect everything! Respect absolutely every single Soul need.”


Which system/s YOU are an element of?

I would like to leave you with some Questions to the Soul….think back to a recent (unfulfilled) expectations situation…

  • What system you are an element of?
  • Will resolving a particular problem which your unfulfilled expectations highlighted – and meeting your needs in general, as a habit – harm or help the system as a whole?
  • List all the systems you are a part of: your family, your country of origin, your profession circle, your industry as a whole, your hobby, your broader humanitarian interests and see yourself as an element of them; what do you see?

If you find our videos/articles helpful please SHARE this information with somebody who may need it right now. If you are interested in more Questions to the Soul come join us for Cafe Self Q&A – please register using the form below. I’m looking forward to meeting you one day!

Related reading:



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *