How can we meet our needs, ourselves? How do we even know what our real needs are – outside of what ‘everybody has’ or what we are led to believe we ‘deserve’? Well, our expectations can provide the keys…Analysing our (frustrated) expectations – and working to meet our needs which resulted in these can lead to an amazing self discovery. Indulging into the pain of (frustrated…) expectations or ignoring our needs can lead us in a completely different direction – that of problems, unmet needs and ultimately, psychosomatic diseases.
If you would like to do ‘Expectations-Needs-Gifts’ exercise mentioned in this video please watch/read:
Here is the video transcript:
“When you do this (‘Expectations-Needs’, please watch ‘Expectations: Needs’) exercise you express yourself better. Sometimes we are so unhappy or frustrated or a little uneasy about something really really vague. And we’re not happy about something but we cannot quite put our finger on it we are not happy we just experience this internal discomfort or what is called ‘felt sense’ in the body – if it goes to more on a level towards somatisation of complaint. When you actually do this exercise what happens you start to express yourself better; you start getting clarity on what it is – exactly – actually what you expected; how it exactly happened; the gifts; the Soul needs and so so on. And then everything becomes very clear. So very often by the time you did the whole sequence – and it can only take like five minutes with practice, by the time you did a whole sequence – you are so clear on how things came into being and then you get from this upset and from this original expectation and things which didn’t happen all the way to how you can actually give yourself this by a similar or better means; how you can fulfil the Soul need. And this is very beautiful because then you can get to a much better situation because you went through all the levels. And this is a very conscious-level exercise. It’s not a body therapy; it’s not a dream work; it’s not some kind of subconscious (level) work; it’s not exploring our depths. This is really really really conscious exercise so at this level – and I think it should stay at this level – and we need to clarify this level. We need to go and resort to help of therapies and deeper means if we are not getting clarity here. But I would say 9 out of 10 you will get full clarity – absolute full clarity – if you do it properly.
If you’re going to be, to work as a therapist – this is something that you absolutely have to practice yourself so you know how to guide your patients through it; because very often a patient comes and they’re so upset because things don’t go their way and so so on and so so on. So basically what is happening – there’s this entanglement when there are expectations and people are upset and they’re coming to you and they’re complaining about this and being upset and there’s a physical condition – or if there is a very often psycho-emotional condition because they sometimes stuff; they somatise the emotional discomfort. And it manifests as a skin condition, as a stomach condition, headache, – Liver/Gall Bladder situation anyone?? You know it can manifest absolutely you know it can manifest in our weakest link, in our constitutional weakest link in the body. So when a patient comes and they complain about expectations and things I think it would be a really really useful exercise. And you can only give it to them when you did exercise yourself many times – because then you know the structure and then you will be able to guide them exactly through it. Because it will untangle the situation from potentially somatising the whole problem – because then they will be able to resolve the problem on a very conscious level. Because very often this kind of problem we are talking more about conscious awareness; we are not talking about because when we are talking about bodily correspondence to it then we are talking already of developed psychosomatic disease. But when we are talking about the first step – so for example in your case this was your question, so for example if you were not aware of expectations and so so on and you would get upset and upset and more upset and you would expect more and more and more and this would not be happening; and eventually – apart from resentment towards this particular person and unhappiness in this particular relationship – it might have created some condition it might have ‘made a nest’ in your body as a psychosomatic condition. But if the situation is resolved on this first stage and very often it can be resolved; because sometimes yes sometimes you get patients who come and they’re presenting you with something that basically you can trace the origin of a problem to a situation some 20 years ago… and it is a bit too late to talk about the simple exercise and we need to unravel the whole thing – starting with the actual physical complaint. But when we are talking about this general unhappiness and dissatisfaction and especially in the relationship then this simple exercise can actually prevent the whole thing from spiralling into psychosomatic problems.”
If you would like any support with this exercise please reach out to me using the form below – I’m happy to help!