Returning to (or first discovering) our intended Life Path…as our True Self – clear, aligned and effortlessly motivated (lofty as it sounds) – where do we begin?
While tapping into, discovering and then consciously cultivating our Identity is a life long adventure where the journey itself matters highly, there are some simple steps on this journey which we can take very easily to get on the Path.
The first step is seemingly non significant, but in reality a truly helpful and long term important discovery of our most natural and so effective ‘Modus Operandi’ when in comes to our company on the Path.
Remember the question “What’s more important – a Path or a Destination?” with the answer “A Company”?
- “Where am I going?
- Who is going with me?”
I’d name this step as ‘Who have I been going with all along’ – discovering this and making any amends if needed – will massively help us to be at our most productive, most comfortable (in a positive sense of the word), most calm and centred and so we can effectively focus on bigger life’s questions. Sure, things are much more complex, varied and non-linear but this is a really good indicator which gives us a lot of practical value (and some illuminating realisations).
The First Step: Remembering the Self
Many, many things take (a long lasting) shape when we are little. At best, we are highly attuned to our Self’s essence, needs and desires; we are unconditioned (yet) by all things we ‘should do’, there are little demands on us and we are free to explore – and we have time on our hands! Try endless and uninterrupted hours of reading, sitting under the tree, talking with friends and dreams about yourself in future when you are a responsible adult 🙂
Sure, many side things happen too – such as too strict a family which restricts and stifles you or too well meaning family who over-schedules you which all things you ‘should’ be doing (to the highest standards) for your life’s success – not to mention some real drama during our childhood years – this can all can massively influence our natural, authentic, unique-to-us behavioural patterns. But by and large, we still have time to ourselves and little responsibilities and we tend to be at least attuned and so aware of our own inner needs – whether of not they have a chance to get fulfilled – and so discover who we are when we are still children.
A Simple ‘Reflection’ Exercise
So, we will make a little tour into our childhood, just to answer the question – which will bring us to bettering our life today, making peace with our past and providing for a brighter future.
In your childhood – try to remember your earliest or/and most significant or/and try to remember yourself at several ages (for example 3, 6, 9, 12) – what was your natural bliss state, when you were totally happy and that was just a true and pure bliss:
- you on your own in communion with nature or a book or absorbed in a solitary activity such as drawing, painting, making things, observing your environment,
- you and you best friend talking for hours on end, sharing secrets or getting ready for exams together,
- you leading a group of friends to some adventures?
And now, just to make sure that this was a natural and pure bliss and not some imposed behavioural adjustment, please check:
- was that a genuine thing or a form of avoidance (for example you are a people’s person but were hurt by people early in life and so became ‘me and my book’ person – or wanted to belong when you truly are ‘me and my book’ person but always wanted to have a friend/a group of friends so you can belong, be safe, and get some acceptance, love and care,
- was there a conflict between your true bliss state and your conditioning (your parents believed we all need to comply and you were a unique talented ‘black sheep’ – or you were expected to be the N1 but you were genuinely good at enhancing other people’s energy and effort and creating/facilitating a group energy,
- was that a real thing or ‘things just happened that way’ (you wanted to bond with people but could not for example you didn’t trust people because your family were mentally or physically abusive; you wanted to belong in the family but they rejected you; your peer group rejected you as you were too different)?
Balancing out our natural patterns
Why this balancing sometimes important? The answer is simple: what we have, we use. What comes naturally, we use. And then we take it for granted and then we depend on it. And then we have little incentive to develop ourselves in any other direction….so we can get stuck forever with our cup of tea and a book under a tree and miss a once in a lifetime opportunity to develop a really blissful partnership and enhance our partner’s identity by all our Self discovery tools we have been practicing all along…or become an inspired leader who will use all these Self discovery tools and practices to facilitate every group member’s strengths so this group of strong and unique individuals can become a powerful force of good.
Or, we can get forever enmeshed into our relationships with people, either 1:1 or within a group and never stop contributing to others development for long enough to make ourselves a cup of tea, take a book, sit under a tree and finally get a epiphany about some important part of ourselves – and happily surrender to the fact that a quality solitude as a part of our life is vitally important for balance and it was long overdue.
The War and Peace
All these reflections are really good for calmly figuring things our during Peace times of our lives…which I wholeheartedly wish we all have at all times. However, life seems to have an intention of putting us through some fast track personal development journeys at times by throwing some storms our way. A storm or a ‘tornado’ stage of life (links to all the articles of the series are at the end of the post) is when everything happens very quickly, changes beyond imaginable and we are forced to make different decision and forge new paths. In these life’s storms, apart from the drama and survival and change of it, we are forced on a self discovery path as a by-product…
More in our next video/article
- The ‘Beyond’ (coming soon)
- The Self, Modus Operandi (this in Part 1 to this article)
- For a background please read/watch our Life’s Tornado series – the Tornado stage precedes ‘the Beyond’.
Any questions, I’m here and happy to help – please connect by using the form below 🙂